VijayUncle.com - Desi Life the Good the Bad and the Ugly!
« is there a better process for speed dating? »

Welcome Guest. Please Login or Register.
Oct 22nd, 2017, 05:52am



« Previous Topic | Next Topic »
Pages: 1  Notify Send Topic Print
 thread  Author  Topic: is there a better process for speed dating?  (Read 3418 times)
kshah1
New Member
Image


member is offline

Avatar



YIM YIM
PM

Gender: Female
Posts: 2
xx is there a better process for speed dating?
« Thread started on: Jul 19th, 2007, 11:34am »

Hi Vijay Uncle,

Thanks for all the work you put in for our JNF activities. Based on my experience from JNF I started thinking what other activities could give us a higher success rate & as I was brainstorming I thought I'd post the ideas here and see if we can get some feedback & if you could implement them and see if there is any success rate ?

1. Each individual would have there own printed flash card - with their basic information - name, profession, interests, where they stay, how old they are and most importantly their deal breakers.

Applying the smart dating idea - if we were to create groups of 5 girls & 5 guys and the guys can pass their flash cards to the girls & vice versa, so you kind of eliminate the initial conversations of where are you from, what do you do? what is your name - which after a while really gets on to you?

Now that the flash cards have been passed around - you can pick up a conversation either on the field you work in or if you share similar interests you can share your experiences, now you have some common grounds to talk about and this seems to take off the pressure.

OR in the same setting

you can give them something common to talk about - topics surrounding interests - for example if all 10 people enjoy watching movies - give them list of 10 movies - they can pick one & discuss what they liked about it & why ?

OR have a game - Battle of sexes or something which is interactive.

What I am getting at is create an environment with much relaxed process instead of usual speed dating where you get completely stressed out, you get exhausted very easily, its hard to connect in such circumstances, and if you notice its too repetitive, with same questions asked - what do you, where are you from and the 2 minutes are up.

Applying the smart dating idea and taking it a notch up - let the group spend about 10 - 15 minutes and you rotate the guys or girls.

This time JNF was sort of an eye opener and I came back feeling that I want to get involved and see to it that we give this process a more successful rate.

I would like to know what you think about it?
« Last Edit: Jul 20th, 2007, 09:12am by kshah1 » User IP Logged

Vijay Mehta
Administrator
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar



YIM YIM AIM
Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2702
xx there gotta be a better process for speed dating?
« Reply #1 on: Jul 19th, 2007, 9:00pm »

I agree with you. I think your idea of a 3 x 5 card with all the information details is a good one.

The main problem I am trying to figure out is how among 225 gals we create an oppertunity for a guy to meet the right kind a gals.

User IP Logged

Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.
kshah1
New Member
Image


member is offline

Avatar



YIM YIM
PM

Gender: Female
Posts: 2
xx Re: is there a better process for speed dating?
« Reply #2 on: Jul 20th, 2007, 09:18am »

Well there are couple ways to go about it. A lot has to be done prior to the event.

If we use your smile concept, however that would be pre-event thing. So guys and girls can send the moderator email regarding which profiles they are interested in? We can then send the results to the candidate. If those candidates smile back - we pair them in the group and during the event give them opportunity to interact.

This should be done anyways prior to the event, but at times people feel like they don't want to get involved unnecessarily, what if things get awkward - they don't want to confront this people at the convention it self.

So by exchanging smiles pre-convention - all we are doing is forming a group based on that. Now there will be profiles which may not get any smiles, in which case we will have to help them more compared to the others.

What do you think?
User IP Logged

Vijay Mehta
Administrator
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar



YIM YIM AIM
Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2702
xx Speed dating and Sincere dating
« Reply #3 on: Jul 21st, 2007, 05:32am »

I think you are right. Lot more work has to be done long before you come to JNF. I am developing a participant’s profile. Here, not only you list your want and wishes but give it a relative score as to (out of ten to fifteen issues) how do you rank them in order of importance to you. This will generate your profile. Now the computer will generate list of ten to fifteen candidates who match your need the most. So everyone gets the same number of people to talk to. The program then will use the same system medical school uses to match the candidate to the schools and set up dates.

Once this is done we may set up a nice quiet place where participants are all located in one place. And we allow fifteen minutes of one on one interaction. At the end everyone turns in their results.

The result can be hit and miss. If it is a miss they may chose to say why? And if it is hit they can list their concern going forward. Such as – long distance, family approval, etc. This can be the starting point of their further dialogue.

I call this sincere dating. This should be limited who are at a point in their life where they are ready to make the commitment. So I would estimate about 10 -15 % of total pool to participate.

After a short break we should discuss some of the concerns listed by participants and brain storm as to what could be done to deal with those.

Speed dating that we do allows people to meet a large number of people. And hopefully they may connect with someone who they may have otherwise overlooked. Our challenge was that we had 498 participants, there were nearly 10 percent more girls than guys, one out of six registered at the convention, nearly everyone guy wanted to meet the girls younger than him and vice a versa. And I wanted you to interact with different set of participants in smart dating than speed dating. I think lot of people had no idea as to how the smiles were going to work. If everyone had turned in 4-5 smiles each that would have generated new energy into interaction.

I am going to form a group of volunteers who would like to participate in formulating these new ideas. Anyone willing to help may send me an email at vijayvip@aol.com

Thank you for you input.
« Last Edit: Jul 21st, 2007, 05:33am by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.
Vijay Mehta
Administrator
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar



YIM YIM AIM
Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2702
xx My approach
« Reply #4 on: Jul 22nd, 2007, 12:25pm »

I believe that the mission of JNF or any other hook up convention need not be to make a match but to create an environment and give the participants the tools to negotiate uncharted water of Desi courtship in new millennium.

No single activity will be appreciated by all. The quick speed dating forces you to meet 25 -50 people and talk to them one on one for a brief period. This is very beneficial for shy people who get a chance to meet others. My concept of speed dating went out the window when I found out that we had 10 sq feet per person. We need at least 20 sq feet per person and a big enough lobby for participants to hang out and mingle pre and post speed dating sessions.

Smart dating is good for those who are articulate or good listeners. This gives a glimpse of inner thinking of potential matches. Again here the space was half the size of what I needed. The groups of more than 12 actually can be counterproductive.

Sincere dating (as described above) may be a way to make sure you get to spend quality time with those who (based on your profile) are most likely to match with you. For this we need people who are sincerely looking get plugged in 3 -6 weeks prior to the convention.

Dr. Phil also had a blind date (literally) where those who were found to be matching based on profile were blindfolded and had to spend 30 or so minutes to gather. The result was amazing. Participants were able to discount the exterior look and be able to look deeply into the core of the potential matches.

Activities such as apprentice, outside looking in, etc are more playful activities and give you a chance to meet few people. However the downside is that you are stuck with few people for a longer time.

An open forum where we can address the issues and their validity can be very beneficial. We may discuss the problem with long distance; where family do not see eye to eye with your choice and how to deal with other Desi idiosyncrasies etc.

The challenge lies in making sure that you get to interact with different bunch of people during different activities.

« Last Edit: Jul 22nd, 2007, 12:31pm by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.
Pages: 1  Notify Send Topic Print
« Previous Topic | Next Topic »

Donate $6.99 for 50,000 Ad-Free Pageviews!

| Conforums Support |

This forum powered for FREE by Conforums ©
Sign up for your own Free Message Board today!
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Conforums Support | Parental Controls