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 veryhotthread  Author  Topic: Wake up call from Reena Patel  (Read 2876 times)
xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #45 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 12:24pm »

reading any of the topics on the site gives so much information & understanding. for those who haven't do check out other topics
everything is tied together
dating in youth, who is confused, fathers tribute telling young men challenges to become a better man, marriage, etc..bonemarrow much to learn and get involved with...

***Check Out Other Topics. They Share Alot of Important Information To Think & Talk about****

Thanks Uncle for posting up the numbers, we all are doing a good service helping one another
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Shaunak from houston
xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #46 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 12:27pm »

I say blame game: If you have been wronging by guys at any of these Indian Parties list them below.......list the organizers and the general date, maybe the organizers will see and the word will spread, if no one comes to their parties cause they are unsafe then maybe they will get a clue

OCP (Out of Control Punjabi's)
SASA (South Asian Student Association)
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #47 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 12:31pm »

fia india day parade ny clubbin
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Rohith Parasuraman
xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #48 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 1:21pm »

I think there are multiple aspects to this issue. For starters, it has to do with the relationship between the sexes. I don't see how it is fair in any way to blame girls for their getting harassed or worse. I will agree that these days, girls should know how guys are, and that guys want one thing, and one thing only. Don't let a guy tell you otherwise. Even if he's a truly nice guy, he still wants the same thing deep down. Maybe it's a primal thing, who knows... But assume the worst, and don't go over the edge hunting for attention from guys... Having said that, it doesn't change the fact that no one has any right to harass or touch anyone else without their consent.

As for the cultural factors - I think Indians hang out with other Indians because they feel more comfortable that way. I think it's pretty ridiculous to say that an Indian girl would accuse an Indian guy of one thing but not accuse a white guy of the same thing, or that Indian guys would only harass Indian girls but not white girls... some of that may have to do with our culture (we're so repressed growing up that we go overboard drinking and getting crazy at the first sign of independence, and we come from somewhat male-dominated origins), but for the most part, I think it has to do with the fact that Indians tend to gravitate towards themselves, and therefore there is no one to harass/be harassed other than Indians themselves.

To solve this problem, I'd advise girls to be more aware of how guys are. Like I said, assume the worst (because it's true 99.999 % of the time). Be careful of what situations you put yourself into. Don't lose control drinking (if you've ever been sick from drinking, that could be a wake up call). And you don't have to sleep with guys or hook up with them to get attention. I don't think guys are really going to change, unfortunately, and that has a lot to do with our society in general - I think a lot of guys are insecure and compensate for perceived shortcomings by mistreating women in hopes of gaining acceptance. But maybe if we start thinking about girls as other people's daughters and sisters, we'll have a little more respect for them.
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #49 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 4:49pm »

Kudos to Reena for starting discussion on this issue. It affects all of us. Your maturity with this subject is admirable.
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #50 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 8:42pm »

i dont know but anyone who goes at clubs, parties, etc in this kind of environment can mail information to organizers about this information. tell them these things are happening and extra security or warnings should be made. safety tips and warnings that they should put in, etc. the biggest way to get everyone's view to read all this information is posting it at desi club sites. any person can contact them and do this.

anyone interested in contacting clubs and parties?? anywhere in usa can anyone help i hope so smiley
since india independence is coming up it's a good way to start this.

go to

schools and college orgs and functions

there's defintely alot of work to do here. it's a very good working on solutions
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #51 on: Aug 3rd, 2004, 12:19am »

This is not to bash any particular sex but a general feeling I have about this topic.

Nothing wrong in dressing more openly and nothing wrong in dancing n freaking. What's wrong is that you are not prepared for the worst. Guys, when seeing that you are dressed in a certain way and dance in a certain way think you are easy. Prove them wrong. If someone touches you in a certain way, slap them, throw a drink at them, hit them up with a bottle of violent if you have to. Sorry to say but if it gets to that you might just wanna do that to prove your point. A white girl would! Indian women have the biggest heart and they will take the pain and try to solve it internally but they don't know that somethings you would need to scream out loud to get some attention. Next time if no one comes to help you, dont be scared to hurt the guy.

Well I heard on this forum that some people are scared of this guy n that guy. In the end, think of the person being harrasssed as a human and even though we might get some ass whoppin, it might save someone else from being hurt. I know easy to say etc. and I haven't been in such a situation so should'nt be talking but I know I respect women up where I can't see someone hit them and be quiet about it. I have fun at parties myself, get drunk, look at beautiful women but i also know that if someone doesnt want you they dont want you. you staring at them or trying to get freaky wiht them wont help....

Nothing much you can do except provide some security. There r bad people in this world and if you stop them from coming in, there will be some more and more. Every culture has its share of ppl who just dont give a shit. I would just say have enough security inside and outside so if someone does need, securityz easy to find.
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cut the crap
xx Misconduct of men
« Reply #52 on: Aug 3rd, 2004, 02:21am »

Most of these replies have addressed only the "misconduct" of women and their foolishness in putting themselves at risk. What about the misconduct of our men, who are the ones endangering the women in the first place? Whores or not, this discussion would not be taking place if men learned to respect women as human beings before seeing them as mere vaginas and if our culture wasn't so heavily stacked in their favor.

I am not exonerating women and in fact, I am one of those girls who does leave a club before things get crazy, as much I don't want to and would rather dance and enjoy myself.

It's about time our men starting seeing us as whole human beings, and it's about time our society stopped skirting the fundamental issue here: Women are still blamed and held responsible for mens' behavior towards them, no matter how sober, well-clothed or prudent the women are.

There is no excuse for sexual harassment, and as long as males and females are not equally scrutinized, there will be no justice for the harassed.
« Last Edit: Aug 4th, 2004, 12:46am by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

Vijay Mehta

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xx What is the solution?
« Reply #53 on: Aug 3rd, 2004, 3:32pm »

Message to all the young ladies

Message to all young men

Message to all organizers and leaders

« Last Edit: Aug 4th, 2004, 12:43am by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.
xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #54 on: Aug 3rd, 2004, 4:42pm »

it's hard to be in this position. these guys and girls feel scared after the incident. what's gonna happen next thing? the truth to this hard lesson is never trust anyone. these people you come across are strangers most of them are. they are strangers. u dont know where they come from, their personality, etc...they strangers. you have to think that way and no place is the safe place. you have to be alert just like going to a public place like a subway, mall, etc. be cautious. just because someone is from our country doesn't mean they are good and safe to be around with. if that's the case than what about your other country people like americans, canadians, etc..huh do you trust them and feel safe, go places with them etc....i dont think so, so don't with a desi......stay safe and remember what people are telling u here...

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Ajay DEPsi
xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #55 on: Aug 4th, 2004, 4:57pm »

I think that 'trust no one' thing is wrong.
if we trust no one then we are admitting that we have no faith in our own people...whether it be indian people or otherwise.
trusting no one makes you a victim of fear.
watch bowling for columbine (especially the cartoon part towards the middle) to see how fear has messed everything up. what next? carry a gun with you so that strangers won't hurt you?
there has to be a better solution.
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #56 on: Aug 7th, 2004, 7:59pm »

i think that unknown is just saying that u cant think and act like all indians are so nice, humble. and wont use u. there are many that are good people but there are many that will use u. and those are the people u need 2 watch out. just like american people, some are good and some u avoid.
but i honestly can say some indian people are losing faith in their own kids and family and our people from wat's going on. too much stress and problems are rising. many struggling for answers and a way out. i feel 4 them
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #57 on: Aug 8th, 2004, 1:12pm »

Here Are More Newspapers To Contact

Indiatimes Newspaper
Letters to the Editor

Editor Online
Send your feedback to Shailesh

Express India Newspaper

Deccan Herald Newspaper
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xx Re: Wake up call from Reena Patel
« Reply #58 on: Aug 8th, 2004, 2:20pm »

The Telegraph-Calcutta, India

Travel Times Newspaper
Editorial enquiries:

Bombay Samachar

Gujarat Samachar

Punjabi Newspaper-SanjhSavera
Newspaper In Canada
write to:

It's A Great Way To Express Ideas & Topics In This Forum In A Greater Degree. Many People Will Be Educated From Reading. Don't Limit Youself To Discussing Only These Topics, But Shares Other Views.

***Most Of These Newspapers Except Gujarat and Punjabi Newspapers are Non-English. The Rest Are In English.

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xx How about the slap on the face?
« Reply #59 on: Aug 9th, 2004, 08:34am »

Correct me if I'm wrong..

but if the girl creates a scene either by yelling at the guy or slapping him across the face.. it will probably defuse the situation?

the guy will either leave due to embarassment OR she would have drawn sufficent attention to herself that the 99% of normal guys that can control their animal instincts will step up ?

what are your thoughts?

You are right! But the question is, do we have to stoop that low to bring civility to our parties?

Is it possible to create a culture where we can have fun but not at the expense of others?

And, what is the guy thinks it is funny and does not move on?
Does a lady have to behave un-ladylike at our parties?

Vijay Uncle

« Last Edit: Aug 9th, 2004, 11:35am by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

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