Lessons for everyone!
« Reply #75 on: Mar 1st, 2010, 11:23am »
Agree with Shashi.
Not every Desi men and women have this experience.
It goes without saying that a women who walks into such parties do expose them to the possibility of this happening just as you drive in icy weather you may risk an accident. So all the ladies out there be mindful of this and take all the precautions you can take.
I go to many of these parties specially after midnight to observe what is going on. And I can tell you first hand that if you were in the same club minding your own business you may completely miss what is going in few feet away from you.
Some how at our parties Desi boys do take a lot more liberty than they would in case of unknown White or Black females. May be they think they will get away with it since the woman is likely to be too scared of publicity. I remember I went to a Patel convention not too long ago three women were raped. And all the elders were too busy putting pressure on the victims not to press charges. Their main concern - the social prestige. Even those who were related to victims sided with keeping it hush hush. And the victims did keep it quiet
Now for those who feel ok to lose your discretion under the influence of alcohol in the wee hours at such parties - Be Careful - law of the land still prevails. And if you are thinking that the little woman is going to cry and forget you may be in for a shock if she did decide to press charges. All she has to do is to press charges and you may be hauled to the big house on Friday night and no judge to allow your bail till Monday morning.
Those who are part of organizing also need to know that they may be on the hook. When you organize party for 400 hormone bags loaded with alcohol it is your duty to provide enough security to all your patron. Looking the other way may be costly.
All in all I think what Reena brought to the open discussion was a very valuable aspect of our social scene. And it is definitely not as uncommon as Shashi's experience.