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Vijay Mehta

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« Thread started on: Oct 27th, 2004, 11:44pm »

Click here for audio stream of my seminars:


Dr. Vijay Mehta, who is now retired, is a board certified general surgeon from Temple TX. He was Asst Professor of Surgery at the Texas A & M Health Science Center. Dr. Mehta has served on the admission committee for twenty years and has counseled many Desi kids through the process.

Dr. Mehta is a motivational speaker who has personally helped more than 1000 Desi youth as they struggle to balance the east and the west. There is a lot to learn form this experience. His natural ability to connect and understand the predicament of Desi youth trying to balance two opposite worlds has made him a most sought out speaker at university campuses and youth conventions across this country. And his personal commitment to help the youth and break the wall in our families has changed many lives. He speaks from the heart and brings our Indian values back in the focus.

With his involvement with the youth across this nation he is widely known as Vijay Uncle! Vijay uncle is the coolest Desi uncle. You may even find him on the Friendster, Face book or My Space - first name - Vijay Uncle, last name - Mehta

As the new generation find it extremely hard to find the soul mate, Vijay Uncle is working on new approach to match making - an assisted match making. His new mantra is "Good bye and Hello Vijay!!!" - a non profit match making website to be launched soon!

For a teen, please bring your parents to listen to this honest discussion. Our goal is to break the wall that currently exists between the Desi Children and their Parents.

If you have a specific issue you would like to be addressed, please email him or IM him on yahoo chat at Or you may post at the Forum at

Language is likely to be politically incorrect and the presentation is rated 'M' for mature audience only!

« Last Edit: Aug 25th, 2009, 10:42am by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

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Vijay Mehta

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xx My Seminars and Workshops
« Reply #1 on: Oct 27th, 2004, 11:46pm »


“Bridging the Gap” or “Family First”

Our culture and religions are facing a challenge in the current environment. The first generation immigrants achieved unparallel success in education, business, and profession. Our family values allowed us to excel out side the home while making our children top priority at home. However, the fact is that in order to propagate our culture, value and religion we are facing a daunting task of balancing east and west. Our traditional methods of raising children need major adjustment.

It is not uncommon to see a family where parents find it hard to communicate with their teens. Teens feel that parents are never going to understand. They think they have no choice but to live a double life.

What can be done to change it? Can we address the issues of courtship, sex, alcohol and drug in our family? Can we as a group share some ideas as to how to deal with unpleasant issues? These series of seminars are meant to bring up some of the issues and possible solution for them. But most important time has come to acknowledge that we as a group have to tackle these issues. “It takes a village to raise the child!”

"Confused Desi who is really confused - Parents or Children?"

The second generation of Asians are often known as ABCD (American Born Confused Desi)! But who is really confused- Parents or Children?

Join us in a soul searching analyses of how our generation of over achieving parents failed to get the desired results when it came to dealing with the children.
Once we acknowledge the existence of the problem than shall we find the right solution.

Once, the Asian youth come of age how do they deal with delicate issues of courtship, marriage, alcohol or drugs? With the parents in denial many of these youngsters have to trade rough waters underground and all by themselves. Can we change all this?

Most Desi families behave as if sex and romance does not exist until after the marriage.

"Desi Dating and Mating - They Do Date and Mate!" it would be a comedy if it were not for the fact that it is a tragedy!

We live at a time amd in a place where sex is everywhere. Old Desi minds failed to recognize the fact that the youth today is growing up in highly charged sexual environment and they are growing up lot early than we would like to believe.

Even though we come from the land that gave Kamasutra to the world, most Desi families behave as if sex does not exist until the time to get married! Our sex education consist of “we do not do such and such” has not worked well for us.

When Desi youth become adult how do they deal with delicate issue of courtship and marriage? With the parents in denial many of these youngsters have to trade rough waters underground. Can we change all this.

In the families where sex is never discussed the children are not only doing it but are more likely to be victims of abusive and dangerous sex.

Just when you thought, "my parents generation will never get it" come listen to Vijay Uncle who is enlightening parents and youth all over this country.

Arranged Marriage or Deranged Marriage?

As our teen were growing up all we wanted was for them to stay away from the opposite sex. Romance and sex was a big “No, No” When they graduate from college we suddenly realize that we do not have any strategy to motivate them to find a spouse. Many of our early thirties feel so comfortable in bachelor life. Our dream of finding some nice boy / girl from a decent Jain family comes crashing down when we realize that some of do not know our own children, how are we to know others. Not only that but any discussion of this subject ends up in a bitter argument that we don’t know how to jump start the process.

Even though we did not know it our youth did have a relationship. Many of these ended up leaving a deep scar. Some of them are too scared to make a commitment – commitmento-phobia.
Also it is time to ask our selves as to, “have we prepared our boys and girls for a relationship?”
Our youth has no role model for romance and marriage. Bollywood or Hollywood does not depict the challenges in making marriage work. Parents’ marriage is something they do not want to emulate. So how do we go about addressing this important issue? If we fail in happy marriage now we will not have a happy family tomorrow.

"Finding Mr. or Ms. Right or Finding Mr. or Ms. Right Now!"

More than 60% of the attendees at Net IP (25-35) were still looking for that special one. Our community is aware of the fact that large numbers of men and women in their thirtees are still looking without much luck.

What can we do to help them find that special someone. Many of them are resigned with the concept of "it will happen whenever it is meant to be!"
« Last Edit: Sep 6th, 2006, 2:51pm by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

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Vijay Mehta

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« Reply #2 on: Oct 27th, 2004, 11:47pm »

The Face of Changing Generations

The generation gap often discussed amongst South Asians is the one that exists between first generation South Asian youth and their parents. The purpose of this workshop is to go beyond addressing this generational gap, and think about the generation gap to come. Will the gap between us and our parents parallel that between us and our children? How will you deal with the cultural gap and differences to come? What needs to be changed? These questions will be explored as the speaker, who will provide his own perspective on the old and new generation gap and lead a discussion with participants.

“E-rranged” Marriages

This workshop will look deeper at the challenges faced by South Asians cultural on finding a life partner. How has the process evolved from having bio-data exchanged thru a middle man to profiles on matrimonial sites and marriage conventions (or meat market conventions!)? Is this now more sought after than the ‘western’ traditional norms of dating and relationships? This workshop will explore the popularity of online matrimonial websites including reasons for and against them. We hope to challenge your perceptions on the cultural South Asian value of marriage. Also, we would like you to put on your creative hat and help us develop a sound strategy that addresses the need to find the special someone who not only clicks with you now but who is likely to be your friend and mate 25 years later!

"Parenting in the New Millennium”

"Children do not come with an instruction manual!" We invite you to come and learn from the mistakes and experience of hundreds of Desi parents and you will feel like you now have the best manual.

Do we need a "Desi Parents Support Group?"

Having achieved phenomenal success in most aspects of our lives our biggest challenge comes in raising our kids as they go through adolescence. Our culture of secrecy prevents us from telling any one what is going on. Our fixation with maintaining our culture makes us inflexible. And when our kids do something that we consider drastic we feel helpless and isolated. Having worked with hundreds of parents personally this challenge is not as big as we make out to be. And there are some simple things we can do to get better results.

We live in a society, where in spite of our best efforts; our children may handle issues such as drinking, smoking, drugs or sex in a way that may be totally unacceptable to us. What is the best way to prevent it and what is the best way to deal with it? Should we form a Desi Parents' Support Group?

Following two topics were discussed at the NetIP 2005 conference in Atlanta.

Dating Quagmire - at age of 30 perfect Desi girl can not find a suitalbe mate?

Do good guys really exist for a thirty year old perfect Desi Princess? Looking around you it may seem like they do not. E bay may work but E matching is leaving many of you with a sour taste in the mouth. Should you be waiting for you prince to come on a white horse and sweep you away? What is the solution?

Who grows up Desi After you?

Have you ever wondered what would your grandchildren be like in terms of Desi culture. Do you ever wonder how would you be able to promote our culture, when you grew up with a love hate relationship with it ? Well, there is good news. We can promote our culture by design or defalut. Now it the time for us to plan for that. Share some ideas how we can rekindle your love for true Desi culture.

"Medical School Admissions-A guide for parents and students"

We are less than one percent of population in USA but Desi’s make 7-10 percent of medical school class in this country and lot more in off shore medical schools. Clearly medical profession resonates with us. However, getting the medical school admission is a formidable process only 40% of applicants are successful.

We will break down several myths that prevail. "You can go to Medical school even if the GPA and MCAT are average or less!" And for some students and their parents it is important to realize that, "You can go to heaven even if you do not get in the medical school!"

Getting into Medical School requires a proper plan of action and many students do not get the admission not because they are not good enough but they are not well-informed. You may contact us with your personal question before the seminar.

Dr. Mehta will share his experience on the board of Texas A & M Health Science Center for past ten years to make you understand the process clearly.

Open Forum:

(Schedule this in the largest room available and allow at least 90 minutes and near the end of convention)

It is time for parents to ask question to the youth and vice a versa. Let us address the topics that have been on your mind and generate discussion.

We shall be collecting questions and comments from anyone during the entire convention open to discuss the ideas and experience of others. Please change the name and location of people you mention so as to respect their privacy.

Ask Dr. Phil!

“Problems may be complicated and they usually are but solution is simple!” says Dr. Phil. We do not have Dr Phil but we present to you Dr. Mehta to approach our problems in same commonsense no nonsense manner.

Bone Marrow Drive:

Please also schedule five minutes of time for Bone Marrow Drive (not time and space available basis)
« Last Edit: Jan 22nd, 2006, 2:50pm by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

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Vijay Mehta

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xx New tools to help next generation
« Reply #3 on: Oct 10th, 2009, 10:45am »

Speed dating:

Smart Dating:

Infrared dating

Targeted introductions

Sneha Milan:

Posting of biodata by Parents

Event specific posting of profiles to assist youth to know who is coming in advance.
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Vijay Mehta

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xx Presentations upto January 2010
« Reply #4 on: Feb 2nd, 2010, 1:15pm »

Upcoming presentations:


India New England News carried an article by me in their 2/16 - 2/28, 2007 edition.
go to 'focus parenting'


September 5 -8, 2009
Net IP Annual Conference
Toronto Canada

Aug 12, 2009 Seminar at
Hindu Temple of Eastern Shore at
Salisbury MD

July9-12 Key Note speaker at
Leuva Patidar Samaj National Convention at
Opryland Hotel
Nashville TN
Audion posted at My Podcast

July 2-4 Key Note speaker at
Saurashtra Patel Cultural Samaj 5th international convention
at Richmond Convention Center at Richmond VA
Video posting pending

August 29- September 1, 2008
Annual Net IP Conference at
Marriot Convention Center
Boston, MA
Video posting pending

July 4-8, 2007.
Jaina Convention 2007 & Jaina Networking Forum
Convention Center, Edison, NJ

March 11, 2007, Sunday 2-4 PM at Durgabari Temple in Houston.
"Confused Desi who is really confused - Parents or Children?
"Desi Parenting - they do not come with a information booklet" also addressing alcohol - drugs and suicide in our next genteration.
audio have been posted at

June 30 - July 2, 2006 American Telugu Association Biennial convention at Long Beach Convention Center.

July 1- July 3, 2006 Maytra (Marathi Youth Convention)

July 11- July 13, 2006 6th annual Leuva Patidar Convention at George Brown Convention Center, Houston.
Audio posted at My podcast

July 27 to July 30 2006 Rajput Association of North America Youth Convention at Peachtree Plaza Hotel, downton Atlanta.
Audio posted at My Podcast

September 1, to September 3, 2006 NetIP convention in Chicago.
Audio posted at My Podcast and

Previous Presentations:

South Asian Students’ Alliance Annual Conference – Dallas TX - January 2000

South Asian Students’ Alliance Annual Conference – Berkeley CA. January 2001

South Asian Students’ Alliance Annual Conference – Orlando, FL, January 2003

South Asian Students’ Alliance Annual Conference – Houston, TX, January 2004

South Asian Students’ Alliance Annual Conference – Los Angeles CA - January 2005

South Asian Students’ Alliance Annual Conference - New York, NY - January 2006

Network of Indian Professional 14th Annual Conference - Atlanta GA - September 2005

Net IP Conference - Marriot Downtown, September 2006

South Asian Students' Alliance - University of Michigan Annual Conference - Ann Arbor MI - January 2005

Leuva Patidar Youth Conference – Dallas, TX,- August 2001

Leuva Patidar Youth Conference - Nashville, TN, 2002

Leuva Patidar Samaj Conference – Ft Worth, TX, 2004

Leuva Patidar Samaj Conference - Houston, TX 2006

Bhakta Youth Conference – Salt Lake City, UT – August 2004

Charotaria Patidar Leaders Conference – Baltimore, MD - August 2004

Charotaria Patidar Seva Samaj - 1st convention at Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay - Nov 24-26, 2005

American Telugu Association Biennial Convention - Ft Worth, TX, July 2002

American Telugu Association Biennial Convention – Chicago IL, July 2004

American Telugu Association Biennial Convention
Long Beach CA, July 2006

Telugu Association of North America Biennial Convention – San Jose CA - July 2003

Maiytra - Marathi Youth Convention, Chicago, July 2006.

Rajput Association of North America - RANA Youth Convention, Atlanta, July 2006

Bangaladesi Association of North America Convention – Ft Worth TX - Juyl 2002

Jaina Convention – Chicago IL, July 2001

Young Jaina Association Conference – Los Angeles CA July 2000

Jain Temple, Chicago, April 2004

Gujarati Samaj of Central Texas, Temple, TX September 2004

University of Miami- February 2004

Brown University, 2004

University of Texas at Austin, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003

University of Texas at San Antonio, 2002

Perdue University IN - April 2005

De Paul University IL - April 2005

University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign April 2004

Texas A & M University 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004

South Western Medical School 2002

Houston Baptist University 2003

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