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Vijay Mehta

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xx Let us learn from the past events...
« Thread started on: May 25th, 2007, 10:05pm »

There is no need to reinvent the wheel. We solicit comments and criticism from any such events in past. We recieved some suggestions and they will be posted here.

From: RK
Sent: May 25, 2007 11:57 AM
Subject: Jaina JNF Feedback

I saw on the JNF Jaina website you were looking for feedback on JNF events. I'd like to share some thoughts I (and other YJA JNF attendees) had last year about speed dating. Many of us found it was not effective. Let me explain.

There were perhaps 40 boys and 40 girls. Not enough girls registered for the activity and therefore other girls (who were not interested in speed dating) were asked to participate to create equal numbers. Of the 40 members of the opposite sex, we met about 8 people. Of these 8 people, it is purely coincidental whether there is a preliminary match. For example, you could have a 23 year old male with a 26 year old female. You could also have a 5'6" male with a 5'9" female. While age and height are not entirely limiting factors in meeting someone, they do play a significant role.

At YJA, when first meeting someone (outside of speed dating), there were a handful of questions that were consistently asked, ie., What is your name? Where are you from? Are you in school? Do you work? In the brief 2 minutes we spent talking to each other during speed dating, essentially the same questions were asked. There was really no difference between meeting someone at any point outside of speed dating and within it. Furthermore, there was no way of knowing who was in speed dating because they wanted to be or because they needed volunteers to create even numbers.

To summarize, our concerns were:

1) Not everyone who was in speed dating wanted to be in speed dating. They were pulled in when they had no interest in it. JNF attendees should not have to wonder if the person they are talking to was "forced" into speed dating due to logistics or whether it was voluntary. It was very easy to see that some people were dis-interested in meeting someone and it was rather awkward.

2) We met less than 8 of 40 boys/girls. The 8 we met were sometimes poor matches due to height and age. As a result, in a span of 2 hours, I may have met 2-3 people who were matches by age and height. There should be some coordination here. Last year, the matching was random. I personally am fine with being with someone who is 1-2 years older than I am but not everyone feels the same. Last year, one girl asked me how old I was. When she found out I was younger, she started text messaging her friend on the phone and did not continue conversing. She clearly wanted a boy younger than her. How are people's preferences taken into matching people?

3) Meeting someone in speed dating was exactly the same as meeting someone outside of speed dating. However, outside of speed dating you can meet many people. In speed dating, you only get to meet a few people.

It is not within the scope of this e-mail to suggest solutions on how to modify the activity. I simple wanted to voice what were some prevalent thoughts I heard last year in Stamford, CT from other youth.

I've taken the time to write because I want the speed dating at the Jaina Convention to be a success. Please let me know if I can help in any way.


Dear RK,

Thank you so much for your concerns. I go to 5-8 speed dating every year. (Not as a participant of course!) And many a times I leave wondering whether the whole exercise has any merit or not.

At the JNF, the available pool of people to meet is very large. We are expecting 225 to 250 females and same number of males. This gives us an oppertunity to speed date with people of your age group. During the next speed date, instead of just meeting the people for 2 mintues each we are going to have smart dating where 10-12 of you introduce each other and discuss issues that directly related to relationships and marriage.

You may check out some of my ideas at

Please feel free to post your views and encourage others to do the same.

I also plan to give you guys tools as to how to make the most of your JNF experience.

I would be interested in your thoughts on some of the concepts I am working on.

Best regards

Vijay Uncle

« Last Edit: May 25th, 2007, 11:59pm by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

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