Smart Dating Saturday 1:30 -3:30
« Thread started on: Jul 1st, 2007, 6:53pm »
When; Saturday 1:30 to 3:30 PM Where: Holiday Inn Ballroom Who: All JNF Participants
You shall be assigned to age appropriate group of 12-14 (excluding those you met on speed dating on Friday). Your mission is to explore the issues faced by couples of your generation.
Agenda: A. Self introduction B. Appoint a moderator for the session C. Each participant to express views on any one issue from the list or related subject. D. The group votes on who had the best views.
This needs to be accomplished in about 30 minutes at the end of which the females move on to the next table. And the process will be repeated with new issues. We plan to cover 3 -4 areas during this session. At the end of session all participants may turn in their “smiles” to us to be tabulated and sent.
1st session: Introduction- what is about me that you would not guess? Issues – Dating and Relationship Quagmires & past relationships Each participant need to choose the issue that he/she feels strongly about desi relationships you may address any of the following or anything related to it.
a. why is it so difficult to find the special someone? b. She met him at JNF, seem like there was chemistry, parted promising to stay in touch now three weeks later no message from him. What should she do? c. In the case above if he wants to stop talking to her does he need to tell her, why? d. Is male intimidated if female is more educated or smarter than him? What can be done? e. Female is more proactive than man, at what point she is too aggressive. f. My most frustrating experience of cyber dating or meeting someone. g. Challenges of a match between 'born in USA' to 'raised in India!' h. If someone is divorced without any children are they damaged goods?
Relationships (past) a. Is it necessary to know about all the past affairs the person had? b. Flirting: what needs to be done if one of the partners has a habit of flirting? c. Is it important for a person to know if the potential spouse is virgin or not? d. How should couple handle if one of them has an extramarital affair few years into marriage and few children later?
2nd session Introduction what would I really like to know in my potential match but don't know how to go about it.
Money a. How much money is enough? b. Who controls money? c. What to do if one loves Rodeo Drive and the other feels home at Wal-Mart? d. Who makes decision for investing? e. what if one wanted to help his/her family financially? f. Separate bank accounts or combined bank accounts? g. One of them is mega rich the other one is not - should they consider prenuptial agreement? h. One of them wants to look at the credit score of the other prior to marriage, is it a fair request?
Household chores and child care a. what should be expected from both partners as far as household chores go. b. What proper role for a male in taking care of a child? c. What is your philosophy in child raising and dealing with a difficult child? d. What cultural and religious values and tradition should we carry on to the next generation, and how? e. What are three things you would like to change for a man or a woman as compared to our parent’s generation?
3rd session Introduction: What is the biggest challange person marrying me will face? Dealing with the family: a. what is the best way to handle well meaning family members who create chaos in the life of the couple/ b. what responsibility does each partner have when his/her parents become ill or not capable of taking care of themselves. c. what kind of family involvement is right for me, what can I tolerate and where do I draw the line?
Wedding: a. Are we putting too much effort in wedding and not enough in marriage? b. Do we need extravagant wedding?
Hypothetical: a. One of the partner has medical or psychological condition - what is the good time to inform the potential match and how? b. Suppose one of them develop a medical condition once the marriage is set, would it change my perspective, how so? c. suppose a person had received medical treatment in past and the condition is not under control, at what point in time it is proper to inform the potential partner? d. Suppose there is a dark secret about one of the close family member what point in time would I let the other know and how would I handle it if I was given such news?
Q & A about Smart dating
« Reply #1 on: Jul 2nd, 2007, 12:54am »
Q. Vijay Uncle, do we need to answer all the questions in smart dating list? If so when?
A. You need to think about all the issues raised by these questions. And when your turn comes share your views with others. There is not right and wrong answer but more of how you would approach such a situation. This is your chance to market yourself at core level and learn to appreciate others.
Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.