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Vijay Mehta
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YIM YIM AIM
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xx To Desi Guys (future fathers),
« Thread started on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 4:14pm »

If you agree that such a behavior needs to be curbed what specific changes do we need in our young men?
« Last Edit: Aug 3rd, 2004, 2:13pm by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.
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xx Re: What can guys do ?
« Reply #1 on: Aug 2nd, 2004, 5:38pm »

men need to realize that they can not treat desi girls differently than any other women in other races. women are women.

women need to realize guys are guys and u shouldn't take lightly of matters even if it's your race. if you dont take slightly for other guys than why should you let desi guys touch and harm you.

women need to stay smart and strong
men need to learn how to respect women
so what if the music videoes in r&B have women all over and touch them. doesn't mean it's k to do that
be smart k....don't go to jail or prison for something like that...
instead of thinking of urself think of ur family and ur future
peace
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Vijay Mehta
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YIM YIM AIM
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Gender: Male
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xx To Desi Guys..
« Reply #2 on: Aug 3rd, 2004, 2:10pm »


Dear young man as you move on to the land of partying and fun, it may be a time to reflect upon the responsibility that comes with the freedom. Eventhough we can not picture you ever drinking, drugs or mistreating women it does not hurt to talk abouit it.

One of the biggest things you need to learn is how to handle yourself with ladies, alcohol, weed etc. Just as it is important to learn how to swim, how to drive etc it is equally if not more important to learn how to conduct yourself with women and alcohol.

First, I would like to apologize on behalf of my generation. I think we, the Indian parents, have spent far too much energy on our daughters, telling them how to talk, how to walk, how to dress, how to behave etc. But, comparatively the sons have been left alone. Besides, it is always hard to communicate with sons than daughters. Boys, would say, “whatevva” and that ends the discussion.

Very rarely do we discuss the fact that a true man is one who respects the women. They are not simple objects for created for your pleasure. Any male and female interaction needs to be mutual.

Inability to respect woman now means difficulty in developing a respectful relationship with your wife later on. Just because your father or uncle was able to get away with abusive treatment of women does not mean you can. The dynamics of Desi family is changing very rapidly. We have to redefine how we treat the women.

In many families the boys are treated like a gift from God. They get every toy they want. But, part of growing up requires you to understand that you are not entitled to everything you ask for.

In a club setting you need to practice moderation in consumption of alcohol if you can not practice abstinence.

With few beers on board there is a tendency to show your macho personality by acting ghetto, but please restraint yourself.

Just because you had too much to drink, does not mean you can do anything. Judge and jury do not give any allowance for your inebriation.

Do not get carried away in a group dynamics. If someone wants to behave inappropriately with women or get drunk it is their choice.

Many girls like to flirt. In a way flirting makes them feel powerful, because while they are flirting they are in control. Do not make a mistake that just because someone is flirting with you she is ready to go to the extent you want to go.

When a young lady says “no” than take it as a “no” and do not try to rationalize that she really means “yes” or “may be” while saying “no.”

Just because she is in the club does not mean she is asking for you by name. And learn from Kobe or Mike Tyson and company that any unwanted advances may constitute harassment, assault or worse.

There is nothing funny about forcing a young lady to dance with you or grab her or pull her skirt etc. It does not make you a macho man to behave in such a way surrounded by your friends.

Ask yourself, what did I accomplish by making a fool of myself? Are my friends going to respect me more now? How did I give myself permission to degrade someone? If misbehaving with females gives you sense of accomplishment, you might have deep seated problems you need to deal with them first.

Sometimes you do things “just because you can.” Analyze your behavior and learn to restrain yourself. In long run you will like yourself more. Remember actions have consequences.

If you are watching someone being mistreated the manliest thing to do is to point it out to the security guards.

The scars you leave on her may be last a lot longer than you would ever know. The consequences of your action can result in lawsuit, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, depression or suicide not to mention the pain it will cause to everyone around you.

Forceful sex is not an expression of love or passion but control. So do not rationalize, “I love her so much.” If you love you wait.

Remember, the law of the land is very clear; “sex without permission means rape.” If she is drunk she can not give the consent. Sex with an underage is a rape even with the consent.

For many years Desi men have gotten away (with sexual assults), because a. it was hard to prove, b. our society always blamed the women for being at the wrong place, c. victim usually kept her mouth shut because once her reputation was ruined her life was over. But now times are changing. Who knows after reading these posts a woman will actually develop courage to come out and lay that law of land on you. Do not risk it.

It may be hard for males to understand how it feels to be forced. If someone is unlucky and the woman actually sends him behind the bar, to live at Uncle Sam’s Palace for few years, it won't take a long time to learn how it feels to be raped!

Enjoy the adulthood.

(Suggestion to dad, copy the above letter and add some of your own thought and give it to your son!)

« Last Edit: Aug 3rd, 2004, 3:15pm by Vijay Mehta » User IP Logged

Greatest threat to Hindu religion comes from Dhongi Baba - Dada - Didi - Swami etc.
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