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Vijay Mehta
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xx Should I fly over to meet the prospect?
« Thread started on: Mar 25th, 2010, 3:44pm »

Should I fly over to meet the prospect? Yesterday I was discussing with one of my participant and I found my-self giving an advice that may seem counter to my mission. He was about to fly 2000 miles to meet a prospect and I discouraged him!

Why?

Well, this is a complex issue faced by many of you. You meet someone, it seems like there is some possibility but the distance seems to be the roadblock. So your natural instinct is, “why not I fly to her place and meet her!” Good idea or bad idea? May be this well help me seal the deal.

Answer depends on too many factors and one can not be hundred percent sure of what is the right answer. I was talking to a young lady and she actually did just that. She flew over to meet the guy. The guy had only one hour to spare (why would you consider spending rest of your life with a guy who – I don’t care how busy he is – can not spare more than an hour to meet you? Well he came to the airport and they met and realized that one hour was more than what they needed – there was not chemistry (surprise, surprise!)

This lead me to ask a question – how do you decide it is right time to invest more of you time and money plus subject your self to humiliation of going thru the security of airports?

You guys are playing the game with no rules and no referees. So when you think the goal line is located on the north end of the field and you take the ball to finish line just to find out that goal line was actually located at the south end! Or you thought holding the mask would call in for a penalty while it was absolutely ok!

So we need rules and referees in this difficult yet important game. If everyone involved knew the rules of the game, it will bring some sanity to the process. What if there was a well meaning uncle who could talk to both sides and made sure they were indeed both serious and they had done everything possible to get to know each other on the phone – video chat etc.

What if uncle suggested that since one party is investing the time and effort, the other party show what they are willing to contribute? Would it not be fair – may be the party who is being visited invested equivalent effort? Both parties need to have a skin in the game. Serious people do not waste effort and energy on futile efforts. Because frustration form such failures may drain your energy to stay in the game. We never discuss such nitty- gritty. But a community wide dialogue is in order.

While majority of you are focused on locating that special someone I am focused on how to get there. That is why in Assisted Match Making participants are now coming to me after they meet a prospect on their own. This brings common rules - accountability - sanity to the process.

Good bye barbaadi.com hello Vijayuncle.com


PS in both cases I sensed that the other party did not demonstrate as much seriousness to warrant flying over to meet them. What i like to see is ernest desire on both sides not a state of 'comparison shopping' or 'window shopping' You must refuse to be a display on the self.
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